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i dont think its fair that everyday i have to wake up and make it seem like nothing is wrong. i have to continuously do things that i dont want to do just in case i'm not going to end up dying. i have to convince myself to be alive. and i cant make anyone understand what i'm going through. no one will be able to no matter what i do and with that it isnt fair.

everyday since i got out of a coma ive known that it will happen. but i was given to know that it will happen after high school and into my 20's. but no. it happens before high school is over.

i have to put a smile on my face even when i'm hurting and breaking. i care so much about the happiness of the people around me that when my happiness is limited, i know others are happy. theres only so much someone can take. and i may have reached my limit.

i really dont think i can take more adjusting to things i dont need to be adjusting to. i hate my life. i dont want to be here anymore. but i'm here because it makes other people happy to know that im here. nothing is fair. the world is just a big ball of truths that are never really understood or are ventured for. you can spend your life looking and still never know what it is or what it can mean. you can never know to what extent anyone really cares of what life means.

i will always treat life differently than any other person and it will always conflict with others. i cherish life more knowing what it is going to happen to me. im just different.