i dont get it.

i dont get how he can tell me he loves me SOOO much, but doesnt bother to change a thing. i dont understand it. his friends hate me because "im so fucking depressing" when ive changed just to make his life easier so that it would change. so i could possibly be friends with his friends. but that'll never happen because he doesnt give a rats ass if his friends ever like me. he doesnt care if his friends hate me. he doesnt care at all. so his life with his friends will always be seperate from me when i include him in absolutely everything.

things are unfair. ive learned. you can expect so much from someone but never ever get the same in return. you can bust your ass just to keep this person happy but you'll never get it in return. i spend nights crying and feeling my heart break over something i know i did wrong. but instead of comforting me to make it stop, he lets it happen like its totally okay. cause its totally fine to feel my heart breaking because of someone i completely love right.

i dont understand why i go through this. i know i deserve better. i know it. i definetly know it. but why cant i let it go and just move on and find that someone who is better. who will at least treat me with some goddamn respect. why cant i allow myself to go and be happy. with someone who will treat me better. why cant i do that.

what cant i fucking do that. just for myself. why cant i do something to make MYSELF happy for once. i dont understand why i let myself be walked over by people who really dont appreciate me. honestly. i dont fucking get it.

i need to move on. i need to let him go, and move on damnit.
I NEED TO LET HIM GO.